Daycare Drama

I really want to swear right now, but since this is public, I'll abstain.

I just got a call from the woman who agreed to look after my girls come June and she informed me that she changed her mind. She doesn't feel comfortable looking after a child with allergies and worries that she would just stress herself out too much. I respect that she feels that way and I appreciate that she's taking this seriously, but it pisses me off that she tells me now, instead of 3 days ago when I had other child care providers lined up. The way things work where I live, if you don't take a spot right away, it's gone by next day! So now, I'm back to square one, with less than a week left before I start my new job. I am so ****ing mad right now, words can't even describe it. I'm mostly mad at the allergies. Part of me also feels resentful towards Izzy and my husband for 'giving' her the allergies in the first place.

It's stressful enough switching jobs (careers really), then add to that finding daycare in a market that has significantly less spots than children who need it, and now throw in allergies into the mix and watch my head explode!

I've asked her to reconsider (she really has an excellent program!) and to meet with me tomorrow so that I can go over with her what allergies actually mean and what the real risks are involved. It's frustrating, because how do you explain to someone that yes, there is a risk of dying, but really, allergies are quite manageable and not that scary on a day to day basis. I don't want to diminish the severity of her allergies, but at the same time I don't want to instill fear. And to top it all of, Izzy's most severe reactions to date have always resolved themselves on their own without need for any medication (not even benadril), so I know that her allergies aren't that severe, despite the hives, but at the same time, I can't promise that she'll never need the epi pen, because anaphylaxis is unpredictable!

Man, I hate my life right now. OK, I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but come on! does this have to be so freaking hard?!

I'm gonna go take some deep breaths right now.

Anaphylaxis Support Group

I went to a local anaphylaxis support group tonight. It was really cool to meet other parents dealing with the same issues and get pointers about where to find helpful information. I also got a chance to finaly meet a mom I've been emailing with for a few weeks now :-)

Most of the parents there had school aged children, so the discussion seemed to mostly focus on schools, teachers, and school administrators. Although I wished there was more about younger kids (todlrers & preschoolers), it was very informative and quite the eye opener for me of what it will be like in just a few short years. All I can say to myself is baby steps. Take it one day at a time, otherwise I'll just want to give up.

On Saturday I'll be taking the family to a NoPeanuts Playdate organized by another local parent. I think it will be a great opportunity to meet other parents and share some stories/survial tips.

What it really looks like!

I've spent a LOT of time the last few days reading other people's allergy blogs.

Everyone has links to their favorite blogs on their side bars so I've spent most of my time blog-hopping, so to speak. This led me to a post by With Love, Carmen at Be Not Afraid about her recent experience with anaphylaxis.

"Despite being in danger of her airway closing off, my daughter is not going down without a fight. When she sees needle number two, Tough Girl takes off and dives under the bed. Now I have a possibly about to die kid hiding from me, screaming that she hates me."

It is an incredible piece about her daughter's anaphylactic reaction to a piece of candy offered by a well meaning teacher.

Her writing makes you feel like you're right there with her, watching it all unfold. I laughed and cried while reading it, and it finally hit me that anaphylaxis is real! Obviously, I knew that already, duh! But until now it was more like a phantom in the back of my mind. Something really vague that OTHER people go through. This post did more to prepare me for that fretful event than any educational pamphlet or video ever could, so I wanted to share it with you.