I really want to swear right now, but since this is public, I'll abstain.
I just got a call from the woman who agreed to look after my girls come June and she informed me that she changed her mind. She doesn't feel comfortable looking after a child with allergies and worries that she would just stress herself out too much. I respect that she feels that way and I appreciate that she's taking this seriously, but it pisses me off that she tells me now, instead of 3 days ago when I had other child care providers lined up. The way things work where I live, if you don't take a spot right away, it's gone by next day! So now, I'm back to square one, with less than a week left before I start my new job. I am so ****ing mad right now, words can't even describe it. I'm mostly mad at the allergies. Part of me also feels resentful towards Izzy and my husband for 'giving' her the allergies in the first place.
It's stressful enough switching jobs (careers really), then add to that finding daycare in a market that has significantly less spots than children who need it, and now throw in allergies into the mix and watch my head explode!
I've asked her to reconsider (she really has an excellent program!) and to meet with me tomorrow so that I can go over with her what allergies actually mean and what the real risks are involved. It's frustrating, because how do you explain to someone that yes, there is a risk of dying, but really, allergies are quite manageable and not that scary on a day to day basis. I don't want to diminish the severity of her allergies, but at the same time I don't want to instill fear. And to top it all of, Izzy's most severe reactions to date have always resolved themselves on their own without need for any medication (not even benadril), so I know that her allergies aren't that severe, despite the hives, but at the same time, I can't promise that she'll never need the epi pen, because anaphylaxis is unpredictable!
Man, I hate my life right now. OK, I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but come on! does this have to be so freaking hard?!
I'm gonna go take some deep breaths right now.
Life as a mother and wife of food-allergic individuals.
email me at caseinallergy@gmail.com
About Me
I'm a mom to an 18month old girl with anaphylactic allergies to milk (particularly casein), tree nuts, peanuts and egg whites. I'm also a wife to a wonderful man who survived childhood allergies to just about everything and is now 'only' allergic to nuts, peanuts, eggs, shellfish, and pretty much all furry animals. Luckily my older daughter, who's 3, didn't inherit her dad's 'gifts'.
3 comments:
Oh I hear you on the childcare. I work part time and my girls go to a sitter for 3 hours per week. We've had some scheduling conflicts recently and I am looking into some alternatives or back-up care. Kayla is currently in preschool, but once June hits, she'll be with a sitter with her sister. It is SO stressful finding someone who is not only WILLING, but also someone who understands and is able to accomodate. It realy freaks me out Good luck!
I'm sorry for your frustration. Some days are so much harder than others :(
*hug*
It's so hard to find childcare, I'm there with you.
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